The One with the Double Blind Date
by unfamiliarroute
Summary: "What if we set each other up? Think about it, Britt. It's perfect. I'll pick someone out for you and you'll pick out someone for me. And then we can like go on a double date or something!" "Okay, okay. I'm in! You better find me someone really hot, though." "Don't you worry about a thing. I totally got this." Inspired by an episode of Friends.
1. Chapter 1

Brittany sighed as she absentmindedly thumbed through a magazine, not paying any attention to what she was reading. Sam glanced up from the opposite end of the sofa where he had been, rather messily, enjoying a donut. "What's wrong, Britt?" he asked with his mouth full.

Brittany tossed the abandoned magazine onto the coffee table, tucking her legs underneath herself as she turned towards him. "I don't know. It's just…it's been a while." Her voice lowered at that last part though there was no one else around.

Sam wiped his mouth free of any sugary crumbs with the back of his hand and stared at her blankly. "A while since what?"

Brittany raised her eyebrows, looking at him expectantly. "Oh!" He blushed and nodded uncomfortably. "Right, yeah. I knew what you were talking about."

He hesitated. "You were talking about sex, right?" he asked, just to be sure.

Brittany rolled her eyes at his awkwardness.

"Yes. Well, no. Not just sex. But like dating. I miss dating. I haven't been on a real date since Kyle." She shuddered at the memory. Kyle had been a greasy-haired immature creep. He practically spent the entire evening talking to her boobs. She ended up accepting a fake call and pretending she had to leave for a family emergency.

"Oh, come on. He wasn't that bad, was it?"

"He told me he had a PhD."

"Whoa, really? That's impressive."

"Yeah, a pretty huge-"

"Okay, okay!" He grimaced, his face contorting so that his generous lips looked even bigger. "Dude, that's weird. You're like my sister."

Brittany shrugged, poking at his pout so that he sucked his lips into his mouth. "You asked," she retorted.

Sam slumped further into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Man, the dating world is rough."

"Tell me about it," she sighed, matching his position.

The two sat for a moment, lost in their self-pity. Sam suddenly sat up straight, one finger pointed straight up. "Hey, I have an idea! What if," he paused for dramatic effect, "we set each other up?"

"What?"

"Think about it, Britt. It's perfect. I'll pick out someone for you and you'll pick out someone for me. And then we could like go on a double date or something!"

Brittany cocked her head to the side a little, considering.

"C'mon, Britt. You trust my judgment, don't you?"

"Well…"

Sam whined, "Brittany!"

"Okay, okay. I'm in! You better find me someone really hot, though."

Sam grinned. "Britt, don't you worry about a thing. I totally got this."


	2. Chapter 2

Sam didn't have this at all. He had gone to bed that night, flipping through the contact list on his phone and realizing…all his friends were fucking crazy. There was Puck, but he wasn't much of a one-lady guy. Plus, he was kind of a douche. There was Finn Hudson, who had a habit of putting his foot in his mouth. Rachel Berry, obsessed with Broadway show tunes and a little self-absorbed. Kurt Hummel, so gay he practically had rainbows shooting out of his ass. Sugar Motta, pretty sure she suffered from attention deficit hyperactive disorder. Mike Chang…he might work. He was nice, smart, and like Brittany, had an aptitude for dancing. Oh, but he was dating that Tina girl.

Sam let out a groan of frustration and threw his phone aside. "It shouldn't be this hard," he muttered to himself. "I bet Brittany's already found someone by now." He glanced at the clock on the wall. 1:20. He yawned and snuggled into his Star Wars pillow, pulling his matching blanket over him. _First thing tomorrow_, he thought sleepily to himself,_ I'll go looking for someone else_.

Satisfied, he let himself drift off to sleep. And when he woke up…well, he didn't mean to forget. But work had kept him busy all week long and on Wednesday, when he had gotten the slightest nagging feeling in the back of his mind that told him he was forgetting something important, he had caught sight of Carlos Santana's 2005 album entitled All That I Am and- "I didn't even know they still sold these"- gotten distracted. So really, Sam didn't mean to forget.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, Sam," Brittany greeted her friend as she entered his apartment, shutting the door behind her. "So I found the perfect person for our double date tonight. Her name is Quinn and she's funny, hot, _and _smart. You can thank me later."

Sam nodded, smiling, until he registered her words. Then his eyes widened and he sucked in a loud gasp. _Holy crap. No, no, no! How could I have forgotten? Damn it. Britt is going to kill me._

Brittany watched as her friend visibly started to panic. "You didn't forget, did you?"

Sam forced an innocent smile onto his face. "What? Me? Forget? No way. I found the perfect person for you too."

Brittany crossed her arms and eyed him skeptically. "Sam," she said in a low warning tone.

"No, really."

"Guy or girl?"

"Uh…girl."

"What's her name?"

Sam winced. His eyes scanned the room desperately in search of answers and landed on his newly purchased CD lying on his coffee table. "Uh…Santana?" It sounded more like a question than a statement.

"Oh, that's a really cool name." Brittany smiled, all traces of doubt erased from her features.

"Yup," Sam agreed weakly.

"Listen, I have to go meet up with Mercedes now but I'll see you and Santana tonight, okay?"

Brittany beamed excitedly at him one last time before leaving. As soon as the door slammed shut, Sam jumped out of his seat, frantically looking through his contact book and phone. "Santana? Why did I have to say Santana? I don't know anybody named Santana. I could have said Kimberly or Erica or Jenny. But no, I had to say fucking Santana."

He froze as his door opened again and a harried Brittany rushed in. "Forgot my purse," she explained as she grabbed her bag. She paused, taking in his flushed cheeks and messy hair. "You okay?"

"Fine, yeah. Perfect. I'm good. You good?"

"I'm good…" Brittany hesitated, wondering if she should stay and talk to him but she was already late as it was. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked again.

"Yeah, totally."

"Okay...then I'll see you tonight?"

"Tonight," he repeated, nodding and smiling until she left. He flopped onto his sofa and rested his head in his hands. _I am so fucked._

xxxxxxxxxx

Sam ran a hand through his hair tiredly as he entered the local coffee shop. It was a cute little place called The Central Perk with great coffee and even better donuts. After the day he's had, Sam was looking forward to a cup to warm his hands and a jam-filled pastry. He had called everybody he knew, asking them if they knew a woman named Santana that lived in the Tri-state area. No go. Sam was angry with himself for picking the single most rarest name possibly in the entire world.

Then again, this donut was making him feel a lot better about the whole situation. Taking another huge bite, he chewed thoughtfully as he considered his options. He could just tell Brittany he forgot and he was sorry. But Brittany had looked so excited about it. She probably spent hours upon hours searching for the perfect girl. What kind of friend was he? No, telling her was not an option. Well, he could…no, that's just desperate…then again he was a desperate man. With a deep breath to psych himself up, he called out, "Santana?"

"Yeah?"

Sam turned around to see an attractive brunette in a blue dress, looking up from her phone. _Thank you_, he whispered mentally to the heavens as he approached her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Santana asked Sam who sat across the table from her. She played with her fingers in her lap nervously and looked up at him.

"Totally," he reassured her around a mouthful of bread. "Just pretend you're Santana." He sucked some butter from his thumb and reached for another breadstick.

"I am Santana."

"That's the spirit!"

Santana rolled her eyes. Sam didn't notice, too distracted by the third basket of breadsticks the waitress had brought to the table.

"Well, I just got out of a pretty serious relationship so I guess I should be open to taking some risks."

"Don't worry. Just follow my lead, okay?"

Santana sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, okay."

"Oh, they're coming!" Sam wiped his mouth with his napkin and stood as the two women approached their table. Santana remained in her seat, staring wide-eyed at Brittany with her blonde hair cascading over her shoulder and tight dress. By the time she realized she probably should have stood up as well, the three had already been seated, leaving her in an awkward crouch over her chair. Santana quickly sat back down and cleared her throat anxiously.

"So are you Brittany?" she asked the woman, hopefully.

"Yup. You must be Santana." Blue eyes raked over her body appreciatively, making Santana self-consciously pat her dress down.

"I'm Quinn."

Brittany and Santana broke their heavy eye contact as they both turned to the other woman, both of their faces slightly flushed. Sam looked on, grinning in relief. "Oh, uh, right." Brittany shook her head at herself. "Sam, this is Quinn Fabray. She's a friend from work."

Sam threw her a quick distracted greeting. "And this is Santana…uh. Santana…"

"Lopez," she supplied helpfully. "My name is Santana Lopez."

"Santana Lopez," Brittany repeated, smiling softly. "I like that."

"So how do you and Santana know each other?" Quinn asked, eager for conversation.

Sam's eyes widened almost comically in panic. "Uh, we met in college," she tried. Sam shook his head. "I mean, in high school."

"Oh, wow. So you guys go way back. What are you up to these days?"

"Oh, well, I'm a lawyer."

"Santana Lopez, attorney at law," Sam joked with a chuckle.

"Actually, I just gave up my practice."

"What? That's the kind of thing you usually run by me." Sam put on a concerned expression, mentally patting himself on the back for his acting skills.

"I always wanted to perform professionally and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will." Santana leaned back in her chair, starting to feel more comfortable with sharing.

"What kind of performing are you looking to do?" Brittany asked, resting her chin on her hand as she stared at Santana.

"Uh, singing mostly. And piano."

"Wow, that's cool. I like that more than the lawyer thing," Brittany said approvingly.

"Which is why I waited until now to introduce you two," Sam said.

"I thought you thought he was still a lawyer," Quinn butted in.

"No, no. That's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail."


	4. Chapter 4

Sam ate his spaghetti, chewing happily on a meatball. The date was turning out even better than he had planned. The food was great, Santana and Brittany were totally into each other, and so far between the two of them, Santana and Sam had managed to overcome any minor bumps in the road.

"You know, it's surprising that you and Sam have known each other for so long and he's never mentioned you."

Sam winced. _Spoke too soon. _"Uh, that's because…we had a falling out. Santana, she…hit my mom with a car."

"What?" Santana glanced at Brittany and leaned in closer to Sam. "No, I didn't," she hissed to him. She turned to Brittany. "I didn't hit his mom with a car."

"It's okay, Santana. I have forgiven you." Sam winked at her from across the table. "And now we're friends again and everything's okay."

"Wait, is your mom okay?" Quinn asked, sitting up straighter.

"Please, we're trying to have a conversation here." Sam pushed her cocktail closer to her. Quinn picked it up and sighed.

"Wow, you're a lot nicer on that doctor show of yours."

"That's where I recognize you from!" Santana nodded to herself, not realizing what she had just said. She had been puzzling over that the entire night.

"What?" Brittany frowned. "Do you two not know each other?"

Sam and Santana glanced at each other for an awkward moment and Sam let out a nervous chuckle. "Of course we do. Santana is just playing a game we used to play in high school. We played all kinds of games."

"Games where you pretend you don't know each other?"

"Yup," Sam said weakly.

"Okay then," Brittany turned to Santana. "Let me ask you this. How many people were in our college glee club?"

Sam flashed her nine fingers behind her back.

"Uh, nine."

"What are you doing? I said ten!" Sam glanced at his fingers and groaned.

"Sam, why did you set me up with a stranger?"

Sam hung his head. "I forgot about our double date. Britt, I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Santana added sincerely. "And just for the record, I didn't hit his mother with a car."

Brittany shook her head. "I can't believe this. I spent so much time looking for the perfect girl for you and you just find somebody off the street? This is humiliating. I'm getting out of here."

She stood up without a second glance. Santana rose out of her seat. "It was really nice meeting you," she called after her dejectedly.

Quinn quickly followed her friend, not wanting to stay a second longer than she needed to. "Wait," Sam said. "You're leaving too?"

Quinn gave him a knowing look. "I'll stay if you can tell me my name."

"Have a good night."


	5. Chapter 5

Santana stared out the window of The Central Perk and sighed sadly into her third cup of coffee that day. She hadn't have had more than four hours of consecutive sleep for a week. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw long blonde hair and felt the pressure of her slender fingers on her arm. It was driving her completely insane. _I'm such an idiot_, she thought bitterly to herself. _Why did I think it was a good idea to go along with this?_ All she wanted was a chance to see her again and tell her how sorry she was.

As if on cue, the door opened and Brittany strode in. Santana raised her head as the sounds of city bustle and traffic filled the café for a moment, eyes widening when she saw the woman she had been obsessing over ever since their date. "Brittany!" she shouted, trying to stand and knocking her coffee cup over herself. She hissed as the hot liquid scalded her chest.

"Santana?" Brittany approached with her hand half stretched out to her, her brows creased in concern. "Are you okay?"

Santana nodded, blushing furiously. "Fine…" she muttered, embarrassed.

Brittany smiled at her fondly then forced the corners of her mouth down when she remembered their date. "Let me help you," she said softly, sitting down next to her and grabbing a bunch of napkins from the dispenser.

"Oh, you don't have to do that."

"I want to. Besides, it was kind of my fault that you spilled, wasn't it?"

"I guess so." Santana smiled her thanks bashfully and shrugged out of her sweater. Brittany turned back to her and she stopped for a moment to catch her breath at the sight of Santana's tousled hair and the tight tank top that hugged her figure.

"That's gonna leave a stain," Brittany said, whispering for some unknown reason. She dabbed the napkins tenderly at the red flesh of Santana's chest, her movements becoming slower and slower as she appreciated the swell of her breasts and the way the wet material clung to her.

"I, uh…"

Brittany looked up at her, noticing for the first time how close their faces were. "What?"

"I was hoping to run into you again," Santana confessed. Brittany bit back a smile at her words and resumed her work. "Listen, I am so incredibly sorry about everything. Really, I'm so embarrassed. I'm actually a pretty nice person. Just ask my parole officer."

Brittany stared at her blankly and she winced.

"Apparently, I'm not a very funny person."

Brittany breathed out a short laugh through her nose and shook her head at her. "Can I just ask…why did you go along with that?"

Santana shrugged. "Because I was told I would get a free dinner…which I didn't. And that I would meet a pretty girl…which I did."

Brittany flushed, locking eyes with her. Santana's eyes flickered to her lips and she licked them before coughing awkwardly and looking away. "Well, uh, is anything you told me true?" she asked.

The other woman nodded frantically. "My name is Santana. I was a lawyer. And I do play piano."

"Prove it."

Santana looked around the café. "There's not a piano here."

"That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist," Brittany informed her matter-of-factly. She leaned back into her seat.

"Uh, okay." Santana stood hesitantly. _I can't believe I'm doing this_, she thought. She looked at Brittany, her reluctance vanishing at the expectant look on her face. She then proceeded to do the most outrageous imitation of a person playing the piano that Brittany had ever seen, topped with swaying hips, ridiculous head bobbing, and ending with a dramatic flair of the hands. Brittany stifled her laughter as Santana sat back down unsurely.

"You are really good," she said, her voice thick with amusement.

"Thank you."

"I, uh, do a little guitar myself."

"Really? That's great!" Santana leaned forward and Brittany smiled at her interest. "What kind of music do you play?"

"I play a lot of acoustic, folksy stuff. Recently, I've been working on some Iron Maiden covers."

"That girl you need, gonna knock you off your feet. That girl, you know, she'll never let you go," Santana sang softly.

Brittany beamed at her. "You have a lovely voice."

Santana nodded, smiling, and played with her fingers. "Hey, listen. I was wondering if maybe I could sometime…"

Her voice trailed off and Brittany nudged her playfully. "It's okay. Go ahead. Ask me out."

Santana laughed. "Okay. I was wondering if I could maybe take you out sometime."

Brittany feigned shock. "Oh, you caught me so off guard."

Santana laughed again and Brittany smiled proudly. _Her laugh is so beautiful_, Brittany thought, watching her. _I wish I could hear it all the time._

"So how about that date?"

Brittany leaned in slowly and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "Santana Lopez, I would love to go out on a date with you."

**Fin.**

**A/N: I guess it's the end of the road for this one. This fic has been really fun to write. I love Friends and I love Brittana so this was pretty much the best of both worlds. If you guys want more Friends AU Brittana, please let me know and I can whip up a one-shot or possibly a sequel. Thanks for everybody that reviewed, favorited, followed, or even took the time to read this story. All feedback was very much appreciated.**


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